Under Budget and False Pretenses
by Blue Wallpaper
Summary: This is why Griff should never be director. The main cast does a Rapunzel movie, thinking it's for charity...or is it? Griff is rushing them along, not telling them the whole story, & giving them bad costumes to top it off. My 1st fic.
1. WE'RE WHAT!

Hi! This is Blue Wallpaper, talking about my very first fanfic. (Hugs self and jumps up and down). It's a Rave Master Parady, and I hope you'll find it funny. Even though this is my first story, I don't really want you to go easy on me-flame me all you want, but be reasonable.

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This story takes place before the gang heads off to Lyric Continent (or Luka, if you read the manga). See, the train they were leaving on was full for a week and a half, so they all had to wait before there was any room. But they're NOT in Blues City, just a few towns over, with some time to kill. There'll be small guest appearances from characters from different shows in a couple of chapters, so watch for that if you want to.

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I don't own the Rave Master manga, because that is Mr. Hiro Mashima's masterpiece, and I don't own the anime, because I can't draw squat. And if I happened to own either of them...well, let's not get into that. Um, this particular chapter I'll rate G, but the others will probably be PG. (As if your parents would read this anyway). So read, review, and add me to your favorites list! 

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Under Budget and False Pretenses: Why Griff Should Never Be Director

By Blue Wallpaper

Chapter One: We're WHAT!

"We're WHAT!" Haru, Musica and Elie yelled in unison at a cozy restaurant table one late afternoon.

Making a movie of course," Griff explained again as he nonchalantly drank his milkshake. "I signed us up to raise money for a world organization that helps people who aren't able to see quality films." (A/N: man, we could use such a thing here-all the recent movies have sucked lately) "We'll write the script, the costumes, act, everything! It'll be great, and we'll be helping out people in need".

"Well, I'm all for that," Haru started as he was working on the French fries that the waitress had just given him. "But making a movie takes a lot of work. My sister always says 'It's good to help people in need, but know what you're getting yourself into first'. And we know nothing about making a movie!"

"Yeah, and besides that," Musica added. "Where are we gonna get the dough to make this movie? Movies don't just take time-they also cost money. I mean, if worst comes to worst, I could get some "generous donations" from local patrons, but-"

"-Forget about it" Haru fiercely finished.

"Also, where are we going to shoot this? We'll need a stage, we can't just make it outside".

"It's just like you to think of such a reasonable question, Miss Elie," Griff gushingly said.

Haru leaned in and whispered to Musica; "What are we, chopped liver?" as Griff rambled on.

"-but I've already made the costumes, written the script, and even gotten the local auditorium signed up! The people in this town are so generous."

"Wait a minute," Musica interrupted. "What's the catch?"

"Catch? What catch?" Griff asked as he nervously moved around in his seat. "There's no catch. We're just trying to make a movie, is all. Who said anything about a catch? Heh heh...CHECK PLEASE!"

The gang paid their bill, and began walking down the lamp-lit street to the hotel. Haru was walking backwards with Plue on his head; Musica was chewing a toothpick, and Elie looking at the sky. The entire city was quiet and peaceful, but because of Griff's sudden news, none of this peace got a hold of their souls, as they were all thinking about the big commitment their little blue friend had gotten them into.

"So what's the theme of the movie we're going to do?" Elie asked quietly as she idly glanced in store windows.

Unlike the others, Griff hadn't lost his usual cheerfulness. "I'm glad you asked that, Miss Elie. We'll be doing a rendition of Rapunzel, and you'll be the star!"

"Me?" the fifteen year-old was surprised.

"Yes, and the rest of you-"

"We have names, ya know, and there's only two of us" Musica cut in.

"The rest of you," Griff ignored, "will be in the movie as well. But I can't give anything away yet. I want it to be a complete surprise for when we shoot tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Haru turned around so fast that Plue fell off his head and was about to hit the sidewalk before he grabbed onto Haru's wallet chain. (A/N: It is a wallet chain, right? I mean, what else could it be?)

"Puun".

"Yes," Griff continued. "We begin filming tomorrow. So rest up, because we'll begin at the crack of dawn!"

"Crack of dawn? I barely even get up AT dawn, or in the morning, for that matter! I need my sleep so I can stay good-lookin' for the ladies," Musica argued as he checked his teeth in the window.

"Puuunnn".

"Not now, Plue," Haru hastily said while not noticing his shivering friend was dangling three feet from the ground. "Griff, how can we memorize our lines and shoot at the same time?"

"Not to worry, that'll all be taken care of. The script is very simple, and it'll only take three of the five minutes you'll get to learn your lines. I'll also have a narrator on hand, to help you with your cues. Don't forget that you can improvise too."

"Oh come on Haru, it'll be fun!" Elie pleaded. "We'll be helping out the underprivileged! And Musica, who knows? Some beautiful girls at the premier might want your autograph."

"Yeah, I guess so," Musica grunted.

"Puun."

Elie shot a fist in the air. "All right! We're making a movie!"

"**PUUN**!"

Haru looked down. "Come on, Plue, stop playing around." He pickedup his friend, gave him a lollipop, and they continued on to their hotel, mentally preparing for what Griff had in store for them.

* * *

Well, I know that wasn't the GREATEST ending, but considering the story as a whole (in which I've written half of it already, so considering the half I've already written), this seemed like a good place to end the first chapter. Next chapter they'll actually start doing the play (movie, play, whatever), and there'll be a guest appearance! And FYI, that'll most likely be in a day or two. 


	2. Starting With Smiles

The usual…I don't own Rave Master, because if I did, these 'movie episodes' would have actually been aired on t.v. But one can dream, right?

Chapter 2: "Starting with Smiles"

"Okay people, here's your script and assigned parts. You have approximately five minutes to learn every bit of your part, down to the last line and phrase. Do your best!"

"But Griff, it's five in the morning," a sleepy Haru complained. "How can we do our best when the sun isn't even up yet?"

"Yeah, and how can we learn our parts in five minutes, Griff? Come on, can't you give us ten more minutes, pretty please?"

Griff melted under Elie's puppy dog look. _Ten? I'll give ya twenty!_ _No, we don't have time to waste and-_ he looked at Elie again and caved in. "Ten minutes it is. But that leaves you with five minutes to change into your costumes." He then resumed his 'I'm in charge' attitude. "All right people, you now have fifteen minutes to learn your lines, and five minutes to change. By 5:30 I want everyone ready, is that clear?"

"Yes sir, Mr. Director Sir!" Elie joked, standing to attention.

**2 minutes later…**

"Griff, I think there's been a mix-up in casting."

"Why do you ask, Musical?"

"Well for starters, you cast ME as the evil WITCH!"

"How's that a problem?"

"Hmmm, let's think about this. One, I can't play an old woman. Two, I can't impress the ladies when my face will be covered by a wig, and three, I'm not wearing this ridiculous costume!" The silverclaimer threw the various parts of the outfit at the director with such force, that it knocked the blue sentinoid off his…tentacles. (A/N: Tentacles?)

"Yeah, and how am I supposed to save Rapunzel on that-that-that thing!" Haru exclaimed as he pointed to Tanchimo.

"But Mr. Haru, you need to ride a horse, and this is the only horse we have; besides, Tanchimo's on acting mode."

"THAT THING IS NOT A HORSE! Horses don't act, and look at his head spin!"

"Hey Griff!"

An angry Griff got up off the floor and turned around. "**WHAT**! Oh, Miss Elie, I am _so_ sorry; I didn't know it was you. What do you want?"

"Well I was looking at the script, and wondered how Haru could climb the tower on my hair? I mean, my hair is _way_ too short, and-"

"I'm sorry Miss Elie, but due to a lack of funding, you'll just have to make do. Improvise!" (A/N: I should have had Collin from _Whose Line? _make a guest appearance here; oh well).

"Okay, heh heh," the girl muttered nervously. _How the heck will we be able to do this?_

"Okay people, we now have…15 minutes until show time! Let's get this show on the road!"

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And that's chapter two. Pretty short, yes, but chapter three is SUPER LONG, with some crossovers thrown in from a ton of different shows. You also get to see the horrendous costumes I thought up. Haru won't play a big part for another few chapters, but I won't forget him, I promise! And due to the next chapter, the rating might go up a bit, just to be safe. 

Now see that little purple box below this typing? That's called the REVIEW box. You can write to me, tell me how to make the story better, or give me ideas. Either way, authors like to get reviews, bad or good...so be a good reader and do that.


	3. And So it Begins

One note: when the characters speak in _italics_, that represents what they're thinking; the one-word italics and underlining are for emphasis, and the stuff in parenthesis () are actions.

Also, the reason why I go back and forth between character names and movie roles is because that lets you know when someone is talking from the script, or as themselves. For example, when you see 'Rapunzel', that means that it's Elie, saying her lines (for the most part) from the script Griff gave her. But when you see 'Elie', that means Elie is doing something not in the 'script'. Get it? Got it? Good. Now keep reading.

* * *

You know the drill…I own neither Rave Master, nor Spongebob. I also don't own James Bond, The Price is Right, Teen Titans, Rurouni Kenshin, or Mad TV. Oh yeah, I don't own Burger King either. The costume ideas & whack consolation prizes are mine, though. 

Chapter Three: And So it Begins

"Man, I don't know how we're going to do this…hey Griff, who's the narrator supposed to be?"

"I'm glad you asked that Haru. I had originally planned to be the narrator, but also being the director, I couldn't have too much on my plate, so I asked around town for volunteers."

"And you actually _found_ someone?" a surprised Musica asked. "Wow, I feel bad for him."

"What if he was a she?" a voice called out from the double-doors. (A/N: Remember, they're in the town auditorium).

"And what's that supposed to mean? You are a guy, aren't you?"

"Well yeah. I'm just saying, don't always assume it'll be a guy." A boy about 6 feet tall, with short blond hair and blue eyes waltzed down the aisle to the stage. "And I actually wanted to do this, but that can't be said for you guys."

"Alright wise guy, what's your name?"

"It's Werbenjaegermanjensen. Smitty Werbenjaegermanjensen." (A/N: that's the correct spelling too, I just put it all into two words instead of five)

"Smitty Werbenjaegermanjensen? What kind of name is that?" Elie asked.

"Why it's my name, of course."

"Hey, how come you don't look tired so early in the morning?" a suspicious Haru asked.

"Oh, I always wake up at approximately 5:30 a.m." Smitty cheerfully answered. "Now, where's my copy of the script?"

"Right here, Mr., uh…"

"Smitty Werbenjaegermanjensen."

"Oh yes. Right. Can I call you Smitty? Yes? Okay then, let's begin! Sir Plue, do you remember how to use the camera like I showed you?"

"Puun."

"Good. Now remember, we don't have time to waste, so try to get it right! Everyone ready? Okay, scene 1, the only take we'll make of this, ACTION!"

Smitty: "Long, long ago, in a faraway land located conveniently near a casino- (pauses)- wait, if they lived near a casino, it can't be that long ago, right?"

Griff: "Just keep reading."

Smitty: "A young princess named Rapunzel, no older than seven, was enjoying the company of her favorite slot machine." (A/N: No, I'm not promoting gambling, the story just works like this, and if you don't like the idea, make it an arcade like the anime did)

Elie (the princess, a.k.a Rapunzel, who's scrunched up, trying to look shorter, and wearing a Burger King crown): "Yea! I won again!" (Looks around). "Hey, where's the guy with my winnings! Wait, I'm seven, right?" (Griff nods furiously). "Okay then. **I WANT MY WINNINGS NOW OR MY DADDY'LL PUT YOU OUT ON THE STREETS**!"

(Enter Musica, wearing a black garbage bag with slits for armholes and cut at the seam to look like a dress. Atop his head is a mop for hair, and a spray-painted traffic cone for one of those pointy-hat thingies. But a tuxedo covers all of this, because right now he's a casino employee).

Musica, (the witch, disguised as a casino employee): "Don't worry little princess. This uh, nice old lady (looks straight at camera and speaks in normal voice): with a 6-pack, charm, and a lot of willpower to wear this, (resumes 'witch voice') will take you to the special winners' place to collect your money."

Little Rapunzel: (cheerfully) "Okay."

Narrator: "And so she took the casino employee's hand without a second thought. Little did she know that she was most definitely not going to get her money. Nay, (double checks script). Nay? What, am I an old English dude or something?"

Griff: (sighs) "No, but say the line."

Narrator: "But nay, (cringes) little Rapunzel had no idea that it was actually the…clerk…that would be making money off of HER in due time. Dum dum dummmm."

Griff: "What was that for?"

Narrator: "Well, it's not like you have your own soundtrack; think of it as the dramatic, eerie music to signal danger. I can't imitate the creepy organs."

Haru: "Does it really matter?"

Narrator: "No. (Silence, then continues reading) Anyways, little Rapunzel had no idea where the "casino clerk" was taking her. She became worried," (looks over to Elie, who's humming and smiling). LIKE I SAID, SHE WAS GETTING WORRIED!"

Rapunzel: "Oh! (Pouts) Hey old lady! How long 'til we get to the place with my slot money?"

Witch: "Oh don't worry. We're almost there; you'll have your reward in no time. I was just wondering though, where are your parents, the king and the queen?" (Mutters) "Maybe they can get me out of this stupid outfit."

Rapunzel: "Well, Mommy's out visiting auntie in another kingdom, and Daddy was collecting all of my other cash. He probably went to the potty too."

Witch: "How…interesting. (Whispers to Elie) Hey Elie, good ad-libbing, but try not to be so …frank."

(Elie, whispering to Musica) "Well I'm a 7 year-old for cryin' out loud!"

Griff: "What's with all this chit-chat on the sidelines? Keep going!"

Narrator: "And so Rapunzel, whose paper crown is falling off-"

Elie: (adjusts her crown) "Thanks!"

Narrator: "-and the employee of a greedy, money-hungry franchise and tourist trap commonly referred to as a "casino", usually run by people who already have enough money, led the princess to a very tall stone tower. At about 150 feet tall, and as wide as a four-car garage (A/N: how big is that exactly?), this magnificent tower had all of the conveniences of a home and more. It has it's own greenhouse on the middle floors, electricity, indoor plumbing, even a home gym! And it can be yours, if the price isss... right!"

(Switch to the game show setting of _The Price is Right_. On contestant's row are Robin (Teen Titans), Yahiko (Rurouni Kenshin), Stewart, and Stewart's mom (Mad TV). Smitty approaches the contestants, as he's the game show host. Sorry Bob Barker).

Smitty: "Now Robin, how much will you bid for this magnificent tower?"

Robin: "Well ya know Smitty, I could turn that tower into the command center for Titan's North, one of the biggest crime fighting-and yet most noticeable homes for teenagers with nothing to do except for fight crime, but it'd have to be redone to look like a big 'T' to make it even **more** noticeable."

(Beast Boy comes up to contestant's row from audience)

BB: "And we'd also have to install a huge gaming system, as well as a garage for my army of mopeds. Not to mention my soy garden for making my very own soy waffles and other meat-free products."

Cyborg (also comes from audience): "Dude, we're not wasting space for your dumb soy plant-things! (Pauses) What is soy anyway?"

Smitty: "Who cares! Now Robin, what is your bid?"

(Audience screams different amounts, but Robin doesn't listen)

Robin: " I bid…$50,000 Smitty."

Smitty: "Fifty thousand dollars it is."

Cyborg: (yelling) "Dude, we are not having a soy garden!"

BB: (also yelling) "Are too!"

Cyborg: "Not on my life, you're not!" (Him and BB begin to fight)

Smitty: "Oro? Um, Yahiko, what do you bid?"

Yahiko: "Hey, the 'oro' is copy-righted material! Only Kenshin can say that! …But does the tower come with it's own chef? I mean the garden alone is ten times better than Kaoru's cooking, but-"

Sano: (yells from audience): "You got that right!"

Kaoru: (in audience too; chucks something at Yahiko and smacks Sano) "**What did you say**!" (Chucks more food at Yahiko and slaps Sano...in his private place).

Yahiko: (dodging items from a furious Kaoru) "Uh…$55,000 Smitty! (To Kaoru) **Sorry**!"

Smitty: "Now Stewart…Stewart…uh, Stewart's mom? What do you guys bid?"

Stewart: "Um, I bid..."

Stewart's mom: "Now Stewart honey, step away from the microphone so your ga-ga doesn't get stuck. And what does Mommy say about gambling?"

Stewart: "I don't wanna say."

S.M: "What does Mommy say? Come on Stewart, what does she say?"

Stewart: "Noooooo." (Puts his leg up and tries to push his mom away)

SM: "Now Stewart, you say it, or else Mommy won't let you sit in the window seat of the bus _unless you tell everyone what Mommy says!_"

Stewart: (mad, growls at his mom) "Mommy says that gambling is bad and only for people who have insecurity problems."

Smitty: "Bad or not, can you please bid? You're wasting the reader's time with all of this senseless humor."

Robin: "Hey, who you calling senseless?"

Yahiko: "Yeah, we're here for good reason!"

Smitty: "Either way, just bid, so we can get back to the parody."

(Stewart and his mom whisper possible prices to each other)

SM: "Well Smitty, -are you single, by the way? No? Well we bid-"

Stewart: "No mama. Lemme do it. Lemme do it. Noooooo."

SM: "Stewart, you-"

Sano: (yells) "Let the kid bid already!"

Cyborg: (yelling to BB) "We're not having a soy garden, and forget about the mopeds! You can fly, for crying out loud! And as for the game station, I'd totally kick your ass!"

BB: "Would not!"

Cyborg: "Would too!"

BB: "Would not!"

Cyborg: "Would too!"

BB: "Would not!"

Cyborg: "Would too!"

Robin: "Titans-**SHUT UP**!"

Stewart: "Okay, I bid…$50 Shitty."

"It's Smitty. (Buzzer rings) And it turns out that you've all overbid. So the actual retail price is…$5! See, all of that electricity and indoor plumbing stuff was left to your imagination, so in reality, the tower is just a six-foot piece of cardboard with a wooden platform halfway up to face the audience. Your consolation prizes are snot bubbles and stamps. Now back to the story!"

(End game show…now back to my story)

Griff: "Hey narrator! Cut the corny sales pitches, vendettas, crossovers, and game show acts!"

Narrator: (mutters) "Well I'm only trying to make the story more interesting."

Rapunzel: (A/N: remember, use your imagination for the tower) "Wow, what a neat place! Is this where you keep all of your extra money?"

Witch: "Yes, and so much more. Here, (tries to open door, but to no avail) let me…(mutters) stupid door…show…you." (Kicks door open).

* * *

And so chapter 3 is done. I know it's a looong chapter, but it's one of my favorites. As for me, I've made a "permanent" guest appearance as Smitty Werbenjaegermanjensen. But why appear as a guy? I just wanted to use that name for a character, and introduce him in the James Bond way. Then I had a whole play on that with the "don't always assume it's a guy" thing. You know, 'cause I'm actually a girl? Okay, okay, I have too much free time, I know. Oh and Smitty's description is of no relation to mine whatsoever, except for the blue eyes. 

Another thing was when I did the crossovers, it gave me the idea to do a Price is Right parody, where characters from all these different shows come on as contestants. And not just anime shows...I was thinking from "regular" t.v. shows too. What's your opinion? Yes, I know I'd have a long disclaimer, but it'd be worth it, right? Just tell me in your review.

Special thanks to Fireflies' Wish and bunni of the dark; you guys each get soy waffles and an army of mopeds.


	4. Free House but no Cash

Wow, it's already beenover a month since I last updated…**sorry!** I'm really not the kind of person who waits months to update their stories, so to me a month is _way_ too long. But within the last month a lot of stuff has happened, and I'm starting school soon, so I'll try to get a couple of more chapters in before that. So read, review, and enjoy!

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Summary of the movie so far (not necessarily the story itself-gah, just read): 

Griff forced everyone into doing a movie of Rapunzel for charity…or so he says. Musica (the evil witch), and Elie (Rapunzel) have arrived at the tower. Rapunzel thinks she's getting her casino winnings, but the witch has something in store for her…

I don't own Rave Master or Spongebob (Smitty). I just own the ideas of this play, the costumes, and the camera Plue's using.

* * *

Chapter four: Free house but no cash…yet

Rapunzel: (A/N: remember, use your imagination for the tower) "Wow, what a neat place! Is this where you keep all of your extra money?"

Witch: "Yes, and so much more. Here, (tries to open door repeatedly, but to no avail) let…me…show you." (Kicks door open forcefully).

Narrator: "The conniving clerk led the princess and showed her around all 50 floors. Finally, there was one room left."

Witch: "And in there is where we keep the money. Why don't you go in and take some? I'll wait out here."

Rapunzel: "Okay. (Opens door and walks in). Hey, this is just a bathroom! The only one in the whole stinking' tower too! And where's my money?"

Narrator: "She turned around, but saw no one. The clerk had disappeared, so she backtracked and searched the entire tower."

Rapunzel: (panting) "Man, they should've installed an elevator."

Narrator: "Finally, the princess found the so-called 'casino employee', whistling and examining his-er, her fingernails."

Witch: "Well well well, what took you so long?"

Rapunzel: "I was looking for YOU Mister! Um, lady...whatever! Where's my money?"

Witch: "You were looking for little old me? Well, you won't have to anymore, because from now on, I'll be looking for YOU in this monstrosity of a tower."

Rapunzel: "What do you mean?"

Witch: "Why, you're trapped, duh. You poor, naïve girl. You'll have all the time in the world to think about your stupidity while you're trapped in here."

Rapunzel: "But why?"

Musica: (rips off tux, revealing his almost naked body)

Elie: (turns away) "Augh!"

Musica: (posing for the camera; stops and looks at Elie) "What? It's no different than me in my bathing suit!"

Elie: (blushes) "Sorry, I thought you were naked". (Stops covering eyes).

Haru: (annoyed) "Musica, put your clothes on and get on with it."

(Musica now puts his costume back on; for those of you who forgot, it's a garbage bag, cut to look like a dress. He's also got a mop for hair, a spray-painted traffic cone hat, and now since he's revealed himself he's also got a teddy bear blanket around his neck for a cape).

Witch: "You see, I'm a witch, and…Elie, stop laughing!"

Elie: "B-but Musica! It's s-s-s-soo FUNNY! Ahahahahahahahaha!"

Narrator: "Which just goes to show how low-budget this film is."

Musica: (turns to Smitty) "SHUT UP YOU!" (Turns back to Elie) "_Anyway_, I am a witch, and for the next eleven years you are going to be trapped here. Your dear mommy and daddy will be so desperate, that when I bring you back home out of nowhere after so long, they'll gladly pay whatever amount I ask! And then I can run off to some remote island in another dimension and live in luxury for the rest of my life!" (Thinks for a moment) "Man, I feel like one of the Shadow Guard (or Demon Card, whichever you prefer) guys we're always goin' after."

Elie: (Thinks) "Yeah, you do, actually. …But don't witches live for hundreds of years? Wouldn't you run out of money? My kingdom isn't THAT rich."

Witch: (twitches) "Well that's why I have to kidnap little twerps like YOU, now don't I? Now go watch t.v and shut up! I must go; I'll be back every week."

Narrator: "And with that, the witch disappeared into thin air. …Wow, what a stupid ending line."

* * *

And that's chapter…(looks back) four. This was originally part of chapter three, but I thought that chapter was _too_ long, so I made this part into it's own chapter. Chapter five is rather short, but chapter six might need to be shortened as well. But it's not like you care, right? As long as you like the story, you're happy, and I'm happy too. Oh yeah, and I know Haru's not been really involved yet, but he won't come in (fully) for another couple of chapters. Hmm, better start thinking out his costume. If you have any ideas, put them in your review! Just remember, be as creative and low budget as you can make them! 


	5. Notice

**NOTE:** For any who still care after a three year hiatus, I will possibly revise this story, or just finish it up very quickly, because while this story does have its moments, it was written three years ago. To those who really know me well, my writing style has changed and improved dramatically since then, so when I have the time I will finish it up, for the hell of it, and then begin a new story. I am in college after all—the free time is there, but who wants to write at 11:45 pm? (lol)

As of now it is September 14, 2008. Expect me to update/change this story in about _two months_ during Christmas break.


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